Unknow feel

Now is 4.38 am..
I still awake..
I already long time doesn't take a great nap..
I never felt so sad like now,
I never cries so long like now..
Every night, my tears will accompany me fall asleep...
even when he don't want me..
maybe someday when I not at this world already,all my problem will be solved..
say real de,my heart really pain...
I don't why we will become like that???
what is going on???
what is playing inside your minds???
Until now, u still don't know the reason I angry!!
I angry not because U 2 together..
but when U 2 together,why i'm included??
I'm so sad when grandma use the words that is describe me like a bad gal!!
I never thought our relationship will become like that..
I really so sad n hurt when U say me using our imagination..!!!
I never say U anything!!
never!!!
I always treat better than my sis..
but why U want betray me?????
why u want lie to me???
say something bad about me??
U say we go grandma there because of her money, I also can patient U...
Weidy ask me what happened, I also doesn't tell him!!
I really don't know what can I do now??
maybe leave here is the best solution.....!!