22.11.2009

This date is the day you ruined my life...

I hope u will remember this date..

I always tell myself I should let you go in order to get something better but I just can't..

Why???????

My friend said that I'm too stuborn to let our relationship go...

Do I too stuborn??

I also don't know..

I just hope that I can faster forget you..

But I know that is impossible..

How can I forget and forgive the person who hurt me so much..??

Each time you lie to me, you scratched a scar in my heart..

When I'm smilling or laughing, it's doesn't means I'm happy..

If you look clearly, you will know that deep inside my heart is bleeding..

Because of you, I know the feeling of hurt, pain, cry, sad and happy..

Our memory become blur in my mind day by day..

Maybe same as you..No.. maybe there are no our memory in your mind...

It's been 2 years since the day you left..

In this 2 years I always think, what is my fault??

What is the reason u dump me??

Because of SEX??

Then your now that girlfriend can give you la??

If because of that reason, I'm so sorry coz it is impossible I will give my first to a guy who have been lie and cheat on me so many time...

You leave without any single word...

Actually who am I in your heart/head??

Just a stupid girl that you called me all the time???

You admitted I'm your girlfriend but you just leave me silently..

How cruel you are??

You leaving me alone in pain and full of sorrows..

I rather become a stupid girl that don't know what happening around me...

Before, I do my best to fulfilled you rather than doesn't do anything but you do is??

I feel so stupid to trying so hard to put you beside me but the fact your heart is doesn't belong to me and you never loved me.....

Don't ask me why I loved you so much...

I have been tell u, there are no any reasons...

If there have reason, the reason is I Love You...

It is so torture seeing you with another girl walk beside me..

It is too stupid falling in love with a guy who doesn't love u at all..

Because of you, I never try to trust anyone around me..

Because of you, I never try to look and accept other guys..

It's because I'm too afraid they will do exactly the same things as like you done to

me...

I really can't take it anymore...

That feel is torturing every single day, every hours, every minute, every seconds and all the time as long as breathing...

All my things is about you, included my blog and my diary..

Who are you that made my life changed 360 degree???

I wonder how can live happily with other gals when you hurted someone who love you with all the soul n more than her life???

I really want wishing can live happily but I can't..

If I say that I already forgot you, that is lie..

This because you left too many scar in my life and heart until my heart can't recover..

I do believe time can cure everything but the truth is can't..

The difficulties of making decision is not to choose but is let it go...

I can cover my scar with my long pants and long shirt but I can't cover my fake smile and my pain...

Maybe it is not your fault...

All is my fault...

Coz I'm so stupid to loving you...

Coz I'm too stupid doesn't listen to your words..

Coz I'm just your stupid girl...

It's not want losing the memories but it's the strength to let it go...

When the time I should let it go, then I should let it go in order to get something better...

Perhaps in one day....Perhaps...